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Here’s the problem with websites that collect funny text messages – you have to wade through a million moderately funny or obviously fake text messages to get to the real gems. It’s even worse when the website accepts users to instantly post funny text messages because, as everyone knows, what is funny to one person may not be funny to another. The best funny text messages are always the text messages meant to be completely normal but wind up being something much different thanks to the often cursed auto-correct. While watching Dexter with my husband a few months back, a friend messaged me to chat. I responded, “I’ll be there in a few mins. Finishing Sex with the husband.” She was perplexed by my decision to respond to a text message when I was clearly busy. I didn’t even notice the auto-correct decided to change “Dex” to “Sex” until she replied with, “why did you check the message, lady?!?” I could cull a million great examples out of my own adventures with auto-correct but it’s much less embarrassing to share other people’s texting fails with you. Yes, there are a million websites dedicated to this subject but I feel there is a place for this article. The aim here is to cut out the lame stuff leaving you with just the best of the best. I’ve tried to exclude anything that’s obviously fake although if I found something especially funny and thought it could possibly have been for real, I included it. I’m not going to include my usual commentary on this post beyond the intro because I really feel these speak for themselves. With that out of the way, let’s get to the funny text messages.
50: I’m not sure that sounds like a very entertaining cruise.
49: I know Walmart is always my first stop when I want to get a slut.
48: I get that the ‘funny’ here is the tortilla/gorilla thing but if you correct the original message to read what it was supposed to say, that actually sounds exceptionally delicious.
47: Even a school party sounds infinitely better than a visit to the tampon patch.
46: This one should not have made me laugh nearly as hard as it did.
45: Here’s my question – how does this person know what licking Raphael’s forehead tastes like to start with.
44: Poor Bill Clinton?
43: So my party starts at wieners. What of it?
42: Is it wrong that I even think the shirt thing is a lot creepy?
41: I think that was supposed to be sick? Maybe?
40: Yes, that’ll teach it!
39: Maybe it’s nothing, but I’d be a little concerned if I were that guy.
38: Oh Tawnya, I feel your pain. I really do.
37: I can’t be certain why, but this one made me laugh until there were tears streaming down my cheeks.
36: I have heard that penis potion is great for fighting infections … although I heard this from my husband so take it with a grain of salt.
35: Oh man – I have totally experienced this one. So awkward every time.
34: That phone just keeps digging her deeper and deeper.
33: I don’t believe him.
32: I think her first response was what she really meant to say but she lost her nerve.
31: Terrible, terrible, terrible … and so unfortunately funny.
30: I wouldn’t be sure how to respond to that either. I think my first question would be “how?!?”
29: I don’t even have words for this one. There are … just no words.
28: I sometimes think auto-correct exists just to embarrass us. (if this one is too small to read, click for the full size image)
27: In my experience, people who say they aren’t crazy usually are. Just a tip.
26: I wouldn’t mind a hot dong slathered in ketchup, mustard and relish right now.
25: When I think ‘horny man’, Hallmark is not the first store that comes to mind. Maybe I’m shopping at the wrong Hallmark stores. Why not just split the difference and get her a horny man ornament. Go ahead. Try not to picture it.
24: I have seen this one roughly a million times and it makes me laugh just as hard every time.
23: This one is great. It’s so funny it seems like it has to be fake but at the same time, I can totally see how it happened. Terrific. Terrific.
22: My husband and I have agreed that every February 14th is now Wolverine Day. So much more awesome than Valentine’s Day.
21: Anything with Gollum is awesome. The end.
20: How exactly does one winterize hoes? Give ’em a jacket and some mitties?
19: Strip clubs, hookers and hamsters? Sounds adorable! Count me in!
18: My favorite part about this one is that at some point, this person used the word ‘fuckweasel’ in a text which I think is fantastic.
17: … and the song takes on a whole new meaning.
16: So this one is awkward on a few different levels which in my estimation makes it awesome on a few different levels.
15: I’m not entirely sure this one is real but it made me laugh so it stays.
14: I’m not sure how this one would actually happen but I love it all the same.
13: So much wrong here I’m not sure where to start. I think I’ve got to say the felony s’mores stands out for me. I don’t entirely know what it would entail but I’m positive it would be the most delicious felony ever.
12: The auto-correct was awesome. The response was awesome and the response to the response was awesome. Nicely done, Mom.
11: Could I bring a board game and a bisexual? Sounds like it could be a great time.
10: I hate it when my friends borrow my hookers without telling me.
09: How exactly would one go about orgasming their book bag? Even better, how bored do you have to be to feel like organizing your book bag?
08: This is one of my all time favorites. I don’t think I need to explain why.
07: Geez man, you don’t want much do you?
06: If there are mats around your big hole, you’re not taking care of it very well. Just a piece of helpful advice from me to you, free of charge.
05: Holy cow, what a horrible typo! Nothing more to say here. Just … wow.
04: Well, you might get his attention if you let him know your rectum is available. Guess it depends on the guy.
03: I know Ikea is kind of notorious for not exactly being the most ethical company around but I’m sure even they have their limits.
02: I’m sorry but that is a pretty reasonable question, isn’t it? Until that last message I had absolutely no idea what that first message said.
01: I want my phone to turn me into a poet. That is all.
What is your all time worst auto-correct disaster or are you more of a straight ahead typo sort of person? Let me know in the comments section below.
Are you receiving unsolicited text messages or looking for a solution to stop any SMS short code text messages that you’ve opted into? This article outlines a few steps that mobile phone users can take to stop SMS short code text messages.
Text STOP, END, CANCEL, UNSUBSCRIBE, or QUIT
The easiest way to stop receiving unwanted short code text messages is to simply reply with the word “STOP” to the short code. If the short code is functioning properly, the user should receive a text message response from the short code confirming that they’be been unsubscribed from receiving future short code text messages. To illustrate an example, below is an example of a short code responding to “STOP” and confirming the user is unsubscribed from future messages.
If texting “STOP” doesn’t stop unwanted text messages from the short code, consider the two following steps:
- If a mobile phone user has a signature at the end of their text message, the shortcode system might not receive the opt-out message properly. For example, if a computer receives “STOP – Sent by iPhone” from a mobile phone number, the system may not be smart enough to understand the intent. To check on this, users can send a text message to a family or friend to confirm if there is a signature added to the end of the text messages. If there is a signature, it is recommended to disable it and try to unsubscribe again.
- If the above steps don’t work, users can try texting “UNSUBSCRIBE” or “END” to the short code that they’re receiving unwanted text messages from. Along with the word “STOP”, the Cellular Telephone Industries Association (CTIA) requires text message programs to acknowledge and respect a customer’s requests to opt-out of text message programs. Short code programs must respond to the following opt-out keywords:
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If a short code is still sending unwanted text messages, that means that the short code is not functioning properly. Below are the steps the US Short Code Directory recommends if the previous methods don’t stop short code messages.
Contact the Business
If a short code is not responding to opt-out keywords, users should contact the brand or SMS marketing provider running the short code campaign. There are few ways to find the contact information for the brand or the SMS provider. Below are a few ways that the US Short Code Directory recommends finding contact information for a specific short code:
- Help Command:One of the easiest ways that users can find contact information for a short code campaign is to text the word “HELP” to the short code. If the short code is functioning correctly and is compliant with CTIA short code standards, then the user should receive a text message in return. The text message response should contain either a toll-free support phone number or an email support address for the brand or SMS marketing provider. If this process works, the US Short Code Directory recommends using this contact information to inform the brand that users are unable to unsubscribe from their short code text messages. When contacting the brand, communicate the phone number that you’re receiving unwanted text messages on, the short code that is sending the unwanted text messages, and an example of one of the unwanted messages.
- Search the Directory:If texting “HELP” doesn’t return a message or contain any short code contact information, the US Short Code Directory recommends using the search tool to determine information about a specific SMS short code. To look up an SMS short code, click here.
- Support Contact Information: In the directory, users may find the short code’s phone or email support contact information. Using this information, we recommend sending your unsubscribe request through those channels.
- Terms & Conditions Link: If the short code is listed in the directory, look for the URL for the short code’s terms and conditions. If present, visit the short code’s terms and conditions, as these pages usually include contact information for the brand or the SMS provider managing the short code.
- Brand Information: If none of the information above is present in the short code directory, check to see if the brand’s website is listed. If listed, visit the brand’s website, look for contact information, and use it to contact the brand to request they stop sending you text messages.
Contact Your Wireless Phone Provider
If none of the above things work to stop short code text messages to your mobile phone, the next step is to contact your wireless phone provider. When contacting your wireless phone provider, first tell them that you’re receiving unwanted “short code text messages”, along with the short code number that is sending these unwanted text messages. Then, let them know the previous attempts to unsubscribe on your mobile phone by texting “STOP”, “UNSUBSCRIBE”, and “END” to the short code. The wireless carrier will do either of two things:
- Assist in getting in contact with the brand or the SMS provider that is sending the text messages.
- Assist in blocking that short code from sending text messages to your mobile phone.
To help you contact your wireless phone provider, we’ve listed the top 10 providers, and their customer support phone numbers below.
- Verizon – (800) 922-0204
- AT&T – (800) 331-0500
- Sprint/Nextel – (888) 211-4727
- T-Mobile – (800) 937-8997
- Tracfone – (800) 867-7183
- MetroPCS – (888) 863-8768
- Clearwire – (888) 253-2794
- U.S. Cellular – (888) 944-9400
- Cricket – (800) 274-2538
- Simple Mobile – (877) 878-7908
Report Short Code Issues
If texting “STOP” to a short code doesn’t work or if there’s another issue with a short code, reporting the short code is essential so the issues can be resolved. The US Short Code Directory recommends reporting short code issues to the following two organizations:
- Contact the Short Code Registry directly through the Cellular Telephone Industries Association (CTIA). To do this, click here.
- Report the unsolicited text message to Spam Response, powered by WMC Global, by filling out the form in full at www.spamresponse.com. WMC Global, Spam Response’s parent company, is tasked by the CSCA & CTIA to monitor and enforce short code best practices.
To assist these organizations, please provide the following information:
- The mobile phone number you’re using to interact with the short code.
- The short code number you’re interacting with.
- The short code issue you’re experiencing and the steps you’ve taken to try and resolve the issue.
- Examples of text messages you’ve received from that short code.
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Report Text Message Spam
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In any industry, there’s always going to be a form of spam. Even with all the hard work the wireless phone providers, the CTIA and the CSCA do to stop text message spam through short codes, it still happens, unfortunately.
If you’re receiving text message spam from a short code, report short code spam to Spam Response by filling out the form in full at www.spamresponse.com.
If you believe you’re a victim of text message spam, you may be able to claim damages under the Telephone Consumer Protection Act (TCPA).
What Is the US Short Code Directory Learning Center?
The US Short Code Directory Learning Center is a central source for SMS short code questions and answers. It contains a wide range of resources about short codes, compliance, tips, and more.
To understand the type of resources users can find, below are some frequently asked questions the learning center has answered:
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- How do I find available short codes?
- What are some good tips for selecting a good short code?
- How much does an SMS short code cost?
- What is the Common Short Code Administration (CTIA)?
- What is a vanity short code?
- What is a dedicated short code?
To find the answers to your SMS short code questions, visit the US Short Code Directory Learning Center here.